Hatches and Matches

If I wrote a list of things that are awesome it would definitely look something like this: Prosecco, the girlies, Toffee Crisps, weddings, horror movies from the 80’s and ‘Modern Family’. You may have noticed that Prosecco comes before my daughters. This is deliberate. I know at some point in the future I will be disappointed to find myself very low on a list of ‘Things I love’. Probably above ‘Daddy’ but below ‘Sausages’.


Everything I enjoy in the world comes together at a wedding. There’s the romance of the wedding ceremony, the booze at the drinks reception, scoffing the wedding breakfast, laughing at the speeches and dancing until late. Given my job as an Events Manager you’d think I would be sick of them. Nope. Never. Since the girlies were born we have been to THREE weddings. Fantastic. Well, before the twins were born it would have been fantastic. It’s just not quite the same when you are responsible for two little people. I would go as far to say that the first wedding we went to was quite challenging…

5 Month Old Girlie Two. The chaos-causing cutie!

5 Month Old Girlie Two. The chaos-causing cutie!

CHALLENGE ONE: The ceremony
At this wedding the girlies were 5 months old. Apart from a massive trump from Girlie Two (barely anyone noticed) the church service went smoothly. You’d be right to think that I should be referring to the smooth-running of the ceremony that was absolutely perfect for the bride and groom. I was actually thinking about how well I handled being in charge of two small people in a religious building. (Although I did have my husband and parents right next to me, so we did outnumber the babies.) VERDICT: Where’s my medal?

Ready and raring to go! Oh, they're asleep.

Ready and raring to go! Oh, they’re asleep.

CHALLENGE TWO: The wedding breakfast
The wedding venue had limited space so we couldn’t get the buggy close to the table. (Fair enough – probably best that couples don’t pick their dream wedding venue based on a distant cousin’s twin daughter’s access to a table.) They were too small for highchairs so we held the babies during the starter…but that gets uncomfortable quite quickly. We took our main course through to a separate room and ate in there with the girlies in their buggy. We get to eat AND we don’t have to find the energy to make small talk! Perfect. Ha ha! Only joking. (Sort of.) VERDICT: Best possible outcome.
CHALLENGE THREE: Changing nappies
I really wasn’t prepared for this curveball – the wedding venue didn’t have a change table. They had a mat leaning against the wall in the toilet but not enough room to use it. Another Mummy came up with a plan – we’d put the mat on the bar and we’d all change our babies there. We worked together to ensure that someone was holding the mat and helping with the change bag. I felt like we had triumphed in the face of adversity! We were united in our front. VERDICT: It must be how it felt during the war.
CHALLENGE FOUR: Feeding
When the girlies got hungry we asked the venue for our two bottles of pre-mixed formula that they had previously put into the fridge for us. And also for some hot water to warm them. A staff member went to the kitchen and returned with our two bottles…but they looked different. We had put 120mls of milk in each bottle, but now they were full. Oh. I see what’s happened. Yep. They had put hot tap water INTO the milk before giving them to us. Now the milk is no longer sterile. Oh joy. VERDICT: Epic fail that resulted in us having to leave.

Wedding number one verdict: It wasn’t the most relaxing day for us, but it still had its highlights. My family got to gush over the girlies, I got to drink a glass of Prosecco and we watched TV whilst eating Toffee Crisps back at our hotel. Ticks quite a few items on my list. Oh yeah, and it was probably quite a nice day for the Bride and Groom too.

You Baby Me Mummy
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