Baby brain – apparently it doesn’t actually exist. Or so says a recent study. But you know what? The study was only of 21 people. It’s an odd number, and also, it’s an ODD number. Surely, if you’re going to be making a big, emotive statement like that, you ought to back it up with years of research? What’s the real benefit of proving this? What made them decide that it was worthwhile spending time and money on being able to tell pregnant ladies that the daft things they’ve being doing are nothing to do with growing a little person? It’s not scientific – you’re just dumb! Ha ha ha laughs the smug researcher. It has the same impact as asking, at any time, in any place or in any scenario…’Do you have PMT?????’ You’re just going to make a lot of emotional people A LOT more emotional…and potentially get yourself a smack in the mouth in the process.
Despite this frustration, I don’t consider myself a particularly angry person (more ‘ranty’ I would say), but I do admire* the character Alice in the TV show ‘Luther’. (I’m re-watching the old ones in preparation of series four. Squeal! So excited.) Now, Alice is someone that you would NEVER tell to her face: “YOU ARE A PSYCHOPATH,” mainly because, well, she is a doolally, off-the-frickin-wall psychopath. (But equally charming and witty.) Same applies – don’t tell unhinged murderers that they’re crazy and don’t tell people going through a daft spell that they’re stupid. To quote Alice: “Forget the rule book. Change the state of play.” So, you horrible men who decided to embark on this study, let’s study YOU. How many of you have partners who want to constantly beat you over the head for your irritating ideas for studies? Hmm??? I bet there are A LOT.
Personally, I am convinced that Baby Brain DOES exist. Your body goes through so much during pregnancy, that it must effect your mind. My very intelligent pregnant friend was watching a documentary on polar bears with her husband ‘What do you think the polar bear is eating there?’ he asked her. ‘Erm, I think it’s a banana’ she said. Just take a moment to think about that.
Although the girlies are now 17 months old, my memory is still rubbish. It wasn’t that great to begin with mind, but it has definitely gone downhill in recent years. I went to the butchers this morning, but couldn’t remember if my husband wanted me to buy a shoulder of lamb or of pork. Not wanting to appear like a complete idiot to the butcher, I took a guess at it. But then I couldn’t remember which one I asked for in the butchers, so I don’t know what is currently sat in the fridge. I should stick to supermarkets – they have labels for people like me.
Sometimes I do actually catch myself and prevent the daft thing I was about to do from happening. Recently I considered putting a beaker of water in each of the girlies cots to ensure that they could always have a drink of water if they got thirsty. I’m full of great ideas like that. What could possibly go wrong???
So if you think polar bears have access to bananas, forget what meat you asked for and only just stopped yourself from allowing toddlers to attempt a cot bath, then you are not alone my lovely! I am almost certain there are at least 21 ladies who can relate to this. Make others feel better (well, me really) by sharing your baby brain stories. I say: ‘Embrace the baby brain!’
*Not quite sure that the right word is ‘admire’ when referring to a psychopath?!? My husband often refers to my ‘inner pot of crazy’ and how the lid occasionally comes off and spills crazy everywhere…but I’m pretty sure that’s normal. Right??? 😀