Twinprobable

I like planning stuff and I like researching too. When I found out that I was having twins I read EVERYTHING about it. I stopped reading about pregnancy and dealing with a small baby and focused all of my attention on the twin thing. In hindsight, this may have been a mistake. It would have been far more useful to know more than I did about having a baby, but I knew a hell of a lot about twins. Not necessarily great for a first time Mum, but ‘hey’ I’ve muddled through.

My husband is an identical twin and therefore the assumption is that it runs in the family. It’s not. My girlies are fraternal (non-identical). This means that my ovaries released two eggs at the same time. This often happens in ‘older’ Mums who are thirty plus. Basically, it was my body having a ‘going out of business sale’!

In addition to my body having an ‘all or nothing’ approach, it turns out that twins do actually run in my genes. My lovely Mother-in-law researched my family tree for me, and, despite my roots being more complicated than an EastEnders plot line, she discovered that my Grandmother had twin brothers. It almost pains me to tell you what their names were, but I feel I must. Think ‘clown’ and think ‘duck’. Ugh, I’ll just say it…their names were Ronald and Donald. No joke. I like to think that my Great Grandmother had a wicked sense of humour. Either that or she was just plain wicked.

During my research I found a Twins Club in Hangleton. ‘Excellent,’ I thought, ‘the perfect place to meet other women who are pregnant with twins.’ So, five months before my girlies were due, I showed up at the centre to tell the receptionist that I was there for Twins Club. “Where are your children?” she asked. Confused, I pointed to my humungous bump. It was only then that it occurred to me that I may have misunderstood what the group was for.

Twins Clubs are for twins who are already born. They really should be clearer about this (!) The babies and small children play with toys that have been set up around the room in pairs (adorable) and the parents/carers get the opportunity to speak to fellow adults in the same situation. Despite feeling pretty dumb, (which is quite standard during pregnancy…and ever since actually. Not quite sure when that will return. Anyway, I digress…) the parents who were there in the right capacity told me to stay anyway and they would answer my millions of twin questions. So nice.

One Mum (who shall remain nameless) told me how she had breast fed her twins using the Harmony Duo. For those of you who aren’t familiar with twin world – the Harmony Duo is a wipe-clean firm feeding pillow that will cost you £85. Just to be clear, that was not a typo. The pillow costs EIGHTY FIVE POUNDS. In answer to your question – yes, of course I ended up buying the stupid pillow. And in answer to your next question – no, of course I did not end up using it. Nameless Mum went on to tell me that she once put her baby son on the left hand side of the pillow and then reached down to pick up her daughter. Her son promptly rolled off the pillow, along the sofa and fell on the floor. Eek. I don’t know what this says about me, but the fact that she decided to tell me, a complete stranger, that this had happened, made me certain that we would be friends. I love people telling me their mistakes. Makes me feel a bit more normal. However, let’s face facts, it was me who turned up at a Twins Club without any children. She probably just felt sorry for me.

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